Category: Marriage and Relationships

Courtship to Marriage

photo of coupe walking on grass field
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An answer to a young Ukrainian woman’s question about relationships, such as how to go from courtship to marriage, especially arranged marriage, in 2025.

By Mark D. Harris, MD, MPH, MBA, MDiv, ThM, PhD, DBA

I traveled to Ukraine earlier this month to teach World Religions to students at the Ukraine Baptist Theological Seminary in Lviv. My 16 students were undergraduates, about half male and half female. Less than 50% were married, and all were Christian. While we studied the Unification Church, the “Moonies,” the discussion moved to their practice of arranged marriages. One young woman asked what I thought of arranged marriages. This article is in answer to her concerns.

The Problem

Much like in Western nations, marriage rates have declined in Ukraine.[1] Fertility rates, the number of children each woman will have during her reproductive lifetime, have also dropped.[2] Ukraine was losing people before the Russians invaded in February 2022, and the demographic situation is far worse after three years of war. As in most of the West, relations between men and women are marked by mistrust and antipathy.[3] Women can suffer abuse, men can lose their livelihoods on the flimsiest of accusations, and both are the enemy of each other. Progressives have no idea what men and women actually are, and push singleness or relationships that can never produce children. In such an environment, one can conclude that, intentionally or not, Ukraine, all of the West, and much of the world are committing demographic suicide.

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Judges 19 and Sexual Abuse

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Judges 19 contains one of the most gruesome stories in the Bible. Few people read it, and as far as I know, no one enjoys it, but God placed it in His word as a powerful indictment of sin. Christians can and must learn from it to help ourselves and our society avoid sin’s traps, specifically in the area of sexual abuse. The following is a fictional story based on a real event as recorded in the Bible.

By Mark D. Harris, MD, MPH, MBA, MDiv, ThM, PhD, DBA

The Story

Aaron, a middle-aged priest from Ephraim, dismounted his donkey in the small village of Bethlehem, while his two servants removed the bags and fed and watered the donkeys. Aaron’s primary wife, Rama, was unable to conceive a child so he had come to Bethlehem to find a concubine, a secondary wife. The priest looked anxiously for the people he was meeting. As the sun neared the top of the sky, a small group walked towards him.

A man with salt and pepper hair and beard, furrows on his brow, and a dark, weather-beaten face approached. Walking behind him and to his left was a trim, petite woman. Standing at a distance was an older woman with younger boys and girls.

“I am Jocham,” said the older man as he approached the priest.

“I am Aaron,” replied the priest. “My merchant friend in Ephraim told me that you have a daughter that I might be interested in.”

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Gender – A Biblical View

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A lava flow of anger, resentment, bitterness, and lies covers the landscape on issues of gender and sexual identity in Western culture in the 21st century. Some people believe in multiple, self-directed genders unrelated to biology while others believe in two genders, male and female, fixed by biology, culture, and ultimately God. What does the Bible say?

By Mark D. Harris, MD, MPH, MBA, MDiv, ThM, PhD, DBA

Sexual practices and gender identity have become hot issues in the United States and elsewhere. The “culture wars” pit those holding to traditional social norms against those who believe that such norms are oppressive. Followers of Jesus Christ need to know what God says about gender from both sources of revelation, Creation and the Bible. Finally, Christians must do what He commands, both in their own lives and in dealing with and teaching others.

Sex as an act or as an identity

For every culture in most of human history, sex was an identity conferred by one’s immutable biology and confirmed by one’s culture. The word “gender” was rarely used concerning people until the mid-20th century. The day-to-day living out of one’s sex was called sex because biology was so closely tied to identity and activity. Gender was primarily used in language studies. Only in the past several decades has the word gender been applied to sexual identity in opposition to sex.

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True to Each Other

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In this lonely, painful world, how can we have deep, meaningful relationships? How can we be true to each other?

By Mark D, Harris, MD, MPH, MBA, MDiv, ThM, PhD, DBA

In William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, the Roman Emperor shouts “et tu Brute?” when he sees his close friend, Marcus Junius Brutus, among his assassins.  Though most Americans are not plunging daggers into each other, relationships in the world, the United States, and even the Church are shriveling and dying. According to US Census Data in 2020, our population growth has slowed to its lowest point since the 1930s.[1]  Experts blame COVID and economic troubles, but this trend has been present for decades. Marriage is less common, and couples are having fewer children. People are having less sex, and even dating less. Research from the Barna Group indicates that Americans have fewer friends and higher levels of loneliness than in the past.[2] Elders are less lonely than Boomers, who are less lonely than Gen X, who are less lonely than millennials. The stereotypical image of a lonely widow in our culture may be less common than that of a lonely teenage girl.

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God’s Design for Men and Women in the Church

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America and much of the world have undergone a sexual revolution. The Church and the Family have often followed. How is it working out? Why are relations between men and women so infrequent, and so toxic? There is another way, God’s way, and we will discuss it here. 

By Mark D. Harris, MD, MPH, MBA, MDiv, ThM, PhD, DBA

How are relations between men and women in American society? How about the rest of the world? Are they better than they were one thousand, one hundred, ten, or even two years ago? How are relations between men and women in the Church? Are they as God intended?

Is the Bible a misogynistic book? How can Paul, and the Scottish Presbyterian Preacher James Fordyce (1720-1796, in his Sermons for Young Women), and ministers like me even talk (“mansplain?”) about the differing roles of men and women in the Church?

We can, and indeed we must, because the Bible is the word of God, profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Long after our bodies, and those of our adversaries, return to dust, His Word will remain. In these and all other areas, the Word burns within us (Jeremiah 20:9). Whether male or female, no one is permitted to change or ignore the word of God.

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Adventures in Athens – How We Treat Others

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How we treat others matters far more, to the individual and to everyone around, than we can possibly imagine. 

By Mark D. Harris

My daughter Anna is getting married in June, so she and I traveled to Greece this past week to adventure together one more time. It has been a marvelous week; we have enjoyed the place and enjoyed each other. I will treasure these few days forever, and I hope that she will do the same. With all of the fun that we had, God used our experiences to build our character and our faith as individuals and as the Body of Christ.

Yesterday Anna and I traveled to Corinth to see where Paul walked and worked. The ruins of the ancient city featured a temple of Apollo, a basilica of Julian, shops, houses, and the Bema where the famous apostle was tried before Gaius. After almost two hours of exploring the ruins, we agreed to finish individually and then meet at the temple to conclude our visit. I stopped by the Pirean fountain and explored the historic road entering the city. Anna finished first and went to the temple. I tried to get to the temple faster by leaving the site through the exit and reentering the main entrance.

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